gala_apples

So I've decided to attempt BBB this year. I've decided to continue a WIP I abandoned, mostly because most of my other BB ideas can be translated into other fandoms, but this one has to has to HAS TO be bandom.

I'm pretty happy right now, because after not writing for most of December and Jaunary, when I opened a Glee WIP to write more it was totally dead. Was. Not. Going. To. Happen. And I was freaking out that my writing-self is broken. But when I opened the BBB last night I was like I AM FEELING THIS SO HARD.

The one problem is I'm rotating POV's, because it helps me get through long-fic, and one of the characters doesn't really have an arch. All of his scenes are just big ___ in my notes, while the others have lots of things to do. I need to figure out another aspect of the universe I'm writing it that I can attach to him.

The other problem I'm having is that the sole female has kind of a controversial attitude. I really want her issue to be included in this 'verse, and I don't want to shame it, because there's a RL correlation and I wouldn't shame those people in RL. At the same time, her boyfriend is going to end up breaking up with her over it, and dating someone on the opposite side of the issue. So not only do I have to figure out how to write this respectfully/tactfully/allowing for multiple sides to be "right", I also have to figure out how to not fridge her.

....this summary is going to be so weird and I'm totally going to be the last person to get a mix. *sigh*

Ten books that have influenced me, in no particular order

1) Callahan's Con- Spider Robinson. It's actually last in the Callahan series, but it had just come out when I first read it and then it became a frantic process to own all other books. Callahan's series made 12 year old me's opinions about prostitution change completely, and also introduced me to the concept of polyamory.

2) Harry Potter- thanks for giving me fandom, which is a good 70% of my enjoyment of life.

3) Slot Machine (and) Extreme Elvin- Chris Lynch. Read SM for the first time in 7th grade. These books basically set up my whole sense of humor. Over a decade later, with chapters memorised, they still make me laugh out loud in public places when I read them. PLUS HOLY FUCK BALLS THERE'S A 3rd THAT I NEVER KNEW ABOUT UNTIL A MONTH AGO BUT COCONUT_ICE22 BOUGHT IT FOR ME FOR XMAS.

4) Savages- Don Winslow. I love it for the poly, and I love it for the drug use, but most of all I love it for the style. I'm not generally one for literary works of art, and I still wince thinking of HP's litfic wank era. That being said, I love a book with STYLE. Clockwork Orange, Trainspotting, Pygmy, anything with it's own language really gets me. And Savages has that in spades.

5) NeverNever (and the rest of the Bordertown series)- Will Shetterly (and assorted). My first urban fantasy book as a kid. I lost track of the name/author, could only remember the cover and the concept. Then I found it again, and I love it as much I did at 10.

6) Yes Man- Danny Wallace. They made a movie based on it, but the book is far funnier. And by far I mean the first time I read it my dad got really angry at me and told me I had to read it when he wasn't home because I was laughing at every paragraph and I'd been reading for an hour and IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I'LL MURDER YOU.

7) Archer's Goon- Diana Wynne Jones. I have never wished harder for anything to be a movie ever. It was the first book of her's I'd ever read, and thank god for that, because she's an entire shelf these days. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT TORQUIL, OKAY?

8) Mindhunter: Inside the FBI's Elite Serial Crime Unit- John E Douglas. When I was a little kid (like 5 and up) and I wanted to spend time with my dad after his nap but before dinner, I'd crawl into my parents bed and he'd read out chapters of the profiling and case study books he was reading. Since I met my girlfriend partially through our shared love of serial killers, I thank my dad for nurturing this interest.

9) Anything Macdonald Hall- Gordon Korman. Well DUH. It's only been my most read series since age 7. I only started signing up for Yuletide because there's a tiny MH fandom during Yuletide. Codependant BFFs, crazy schemes, and women that could put your ass through a blender without a electrical socket- what's not to love?

10) I don't know I can't think of a 10, but John Scalzi and Cory Doctorow are both great authors that are pro-fan culture, so there's that.

So when I get new info I like to really In Depth it. In an unhealthy OCD "I must know everything or bad things will happen" way. At least with fandom people expect you to marathon tv or stay up until 6am reading HP the night it comes out. Informational info is sort of different though. When you know too much about random things like the kind of poisons that were used in the 1920's people think you're weird.

Today the problem was JFK. Thank you, half the channels on my television, you have made me completely mental tonight. I watched documentaries on what may or may not have happened at his death from 7pm to 4am. Otherwise known as 9 hours.

I feel so sketchy right now. There are so many theories, and while I think I know which one I believe most (Secret Service George Hickey accidentally did it/Mortal Error theory), I can't know for sure. No one can. And that's wrong in a way that feels really dangerous. Logic!gala knows it's not, but OCD!gala is freaking out. To the point where the last time I left my room to get a juice I was SURE someone was going to shoot me because ASSASSINS ARE EVERYWHERE NO ONE KNOWS WHO'S AN ASSASSIN. I don't really want to leave my room again, but I think I might need to get my dad. I think that might be best.

So probably you've all already heard this, but My Songs Know What You Did In the Dark by the Vitamin String Quartet

Seeing as I've spent the whole afternoon listening to classical covers of Metallica and other fine metal bands, this was pretty great timing.

Some bandom recs for the virginity kink_bingo square. Alphabetical because I'm like that.

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Highlights of this gangbang fic:

-it's over 3k and no one has taken their underwear off yet.

-it's at least 85% dialogue.

-this fandom has a grand total of 58 fics, and almost all of them are main chars slash. Like to the point that some of these fics aren't tagged with a pairing because there's only that pairing in this fandom. There is ONE threesome, and I wrote it. A ninesome is sort of a large step up.

In conclusion: what am I even doing?

EXCUSE ME AS I LOSE MY SHIT BECAUSE ONE OF THE SERIES THAT SHAPED MY PERSONALITY AS A JUNIOR HIGHER HAD RELEASED A THIRD BOOK IN 2005.

OMG
OMG
OMG

LIKE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 12 years later and every page still makes me laugh. Those two books were responsible for my entire sense of humor developing.

THERE'S A THIRD.

i don't even know what to do with myself right now.
i honestly screamed. i woke up my parents.
my dad asked if i "was having feels"
at least he understands my language?

I FEEL LIKE I JUST TOOK A TYLENOL AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE E. THAT'S HOW SURPRISED-HAPPY I AM.

For the tattoo square on my bingo card I made icons of that scene from Elementary where Sherlock is giving himself a tattoo.

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For the wildcard square I picked shoe/foot fetish and drew some art for Sophia Burset for Orange Is The New Black.

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Okay, but why are there no Elementary/White Collar crossover fics?

I mean there's a hot Joan/Diana one, but it's just pwp. There could be epically beautiful case fic. I've read a few WC/British Sherlock fics, but it's more difficult to justify those, because well, they're separated by an ocean. Sherlock and Joan are IN NEW YORK. Peter and Gregson can commiserate about annoying consultants. Or Joan and Christie could have been in the same residency program. And Sherlock would be all LOOKITME I'M SMART AND DEDUCE ALLLL THE THINGS. And Neal would be like 'your wardrobe is worse than Peter's and physically pains me. But I like your instinct.' And Alfredo and Neal and Mozzie can be car-breaking buddies!

Or like, if you wanna get dark about it, Neal or Mozzie or Alex or Kate could have worked with Irene Adler, back when she was restoring paintings. She canonically "liberated" famous paintings from galleries that were going to restore them poorly. Neal would TOTALLY get behind that. And then she'd go missing and Mozzie would have all these conspiracy theories about how the cop she was dating probably did it.

I just. Ugh, there's so much potential but I can't write it because it requires knowledge of either art, medicine, or law. And I have zero of the above.

(otherwise known as I finished marathoning season one just in time for season two, and I highly HIGHLY enjoyed a few of those last plot twists, but fandom seems to be a lot of Joan/Sherlock and I like them as besties better)(and also Needs Maor ms Hudson and Alfredo.)

When you spend like an hour researching the different kind of top and bottom surgeries available for female to male transgendered people, and their costs, and in which places they'd most likely be able to get them...

And then you read that the success rate of phalloplasties have increased substantially over the last few years, that now patients can actually retain erotic sensation, and it hits you DUUUH, your MC is not getting this surgery NOW, they're doing it when they were in their twenties...

And then you hurry to the fandom wikia, and you realise she was born in 1977, making her need to start hormones in 1993 before she gets the surgery...

And then you go to wikipedia, and realise that transgendered people were only legally allowed to marry starting in 1976, and the chances of there being skilled surgeons for anything in 1995 are probably pretty fucking low, and your entire fic is derailed.

I'd say whatever, it's fine, he'll just have had top surgery to pull off a dapper suit with no complicated/dangerous bottom surgery, except no. I can't. The entire fucking point is that post-prison no one knows, which means they needed to go to a male prison which means they need a goddamn penis in the mid-nineties.

WHY IS THE HISTORY OF PHALLOPLASTY GIVING ME NOTHING? GOOGLE, FOR SHAAAAAAME!

You know what? fuck it. fuck it fuck it fuck it. This is supposed to be a 1k kink bingo fill, spending more time researching it than writing it is fucking sad. I'm just going to write in the AN that the author failed at research and is cognizant of the fuckups, but is handwaving.

This fic is so good it feels like I'm stoned.

And I don't mean that in the way that would seem obvious; a well written drug scene that makes me flash back. I mean it like...

Okay, so I used to be baked all. The. Time. And usually I'd be doing other things with friends, but I've always been and will always be the one to stay up latest. My natural body rhythm has me sleeping with the sun; I go to bed at 6am and get up at 3pm. It's possible it's a sleeping disorder, but that's not my point. My point is we'd smoke all day evening and night, and then they'd go to bed, and I'd be up for another hour or two, logging into LJ, reading.

And occasionally, while reading stoned, there'd be a fic that would BLOW MY MIND. It was so fucking eloquent and perfect and JFC how was this even possible? Of course, being a stoner, I had these moments with movies and subversive cartoons and tastes and music too. (there's nothing like a Christmas orange while stoned) I'd reread a passage five or six times, not because I was dumb and had a permastoned fried brain, but because I wanted to experience it fully, let every word set in my mind.

The fic I'm reading now is a really well done poly fic, and it's currently having a moment where two of the characters are experiencing cognitive dissonance with each other. (of sorts, I'm sure there's a more accurate word for it but I can't think of it) They've both thought the same way for such a long time only to realise that the other doesn't agree, and they can't bridge that disconnect. But they're trying to talk through it.

And it's such a good scene. It's so fucking spectacular that I feel like I'm that stoned teenager going WHAT SORCERY IS THIS??? at something that will only be half as awesome when I'm sober. Except I'm already sober.

In conclusion: I love reading fics. I haven't felt this sense of wonder in a long time, and it figures that it would be fandom that gives me it.

Okay, so thanks to Coconutice, the best fandom buddy in the world, I got a copy of Ironman 3 about two weeks before the first scheduled release of it.

Now, I don't know how many people I complained about this to, but when it first came out I was kinda broke, and I figured I could see it once at Famous Players, or for the same amount of money, five times at the second run theatre. And I knew it was gonna be the kind of movie I'd want to watch multiple times. So I waited. And waited. And waited. And it was at Famous Players FOREVER, lingering, and then it just stopped. It didn't go to Cinema City. And the level of my pouting was epic. EPIC.

But Coconut_ice found me a DL, and it finished downloading at 3.48. It's 7.04 as I'm typing this. It took me three hours and sixteen minutes to watch a 2.11 movie because I had to keep pausing for feels attacks. The downside is I have to be up for the day at 11, and I'm not exactly tired right now 0.0 But the upside is pausing gave me time to make a reaction doc, which I'm now C&Ping, for those of you who might be interesting in my extensive Ironman feels.

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One of the things my perfect amazing girlfriend got me for my birthday:


A clone!
(no, that is a lie. I don't need a clone, I'm a time travelling robot apple with a blanket cape wearing sideskick. But check out the badass Punisher shirt! This brings my total of Marvel shirts up to three.)