gala_apples

Title: The Lows of Love
Pairing: post Pete/Mikey
Rating: pg
Wordcount: 227 (plus mix)
Summary: Pete reacts very badly to breaking up with Mikey after Warped 05.
Warnings: suicide attempt.
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit, non-commercial work of fiction using the names and likenesses of real individuals. This fictional story is not intended to imply that the events herein actually occurred or that the attitudes or behaviors described are engaged in or condoned by the real persons whose names are used without permission.
Author's Notes: You wanted a mix that tells a story. This story is probably darker than you intended.




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Then you smile again
but you're looking at me as if there's something I'm supposed to say.
Forgive me Father,
but I'm falling in love and that's all I have for confession today.

Pete knows he’s pretty fucked. But it’s one of those situations where you know you won’t really understand until you’ve got the power of hindsight.

Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you should
It was good as good goes
Stay or leave
I want you not to go
But you did

Tour’s over. They can choose to go home, or to follow each other. There is no choice. Not really.

Today's escape will consist of a mask
I found it in a bargain bin
Why do you ask
Rosy cheeks and a smile
There's no shame in my game of denial

Everyone thinks he’s upset. Everyone is right. It’s much easier to not admit that.

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead

Pete’s not sure what makes him cry harder; when Mikey doesn’t answer his texts, or when he does.

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now my mind is screaming out
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again
It doesn't end

Just because he’s diagnosed, just because he can tell himself ‘it’s just a cycle’ doesn’t mean it makes it any easier to live through.

Tell me I'm a part of history
Tell me I can have it all
I'm still too tired to care and I gotta go

There’s no looking at past accomplishments. There’s no looking at future experiences. There’s only the bed he can’t manage to get out of, even though he can’t sleep in it, and the idea that ending it is better than feeling this forever.

Tell me how to get back to
Back to summer paradise with you
And I'll be there in a heartbeat

Pete’s not sure there’s a Heaven. But if there is, he knows what it’ll be like.

You'll never understand
What all this does to to me
I'm keeping you alive,
And yet it's killing me.

Patrick finds him, tries to get him to puke as the ambulance comes. In the hospital, after, he punches him in the face. Pete doesn’t flinch.

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

Mikey asks why. Like that’s not the dumbest question ever.

Remember the days when your laughter was meant
Remember the days when you did what you said
You're counting the days til you get high again
Chill out, be easy on yourself

Gabe has advice. Gabe always has advice. Pete’s not sure he ever takes it. Still, he listens. He tries. Gabe can make him try, which is better than a lot of other people.