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Sep. 8th, 2019 01:51 amIt's been three weeks since I was randomly pulled aside and told I needed to attend the toddler room staff meeting because SURPRISE I was going to be toddler room staff starting in the fall, until Christmas at least. And a new shift time too. It was a pretty hard blow, weighed down with triggers. It seemed so like Mckray. And not even pretending to give me a choice, and keeping the moving staff a secret until their meeting, like I didn't deserve to know who was replacing me. I was depressed and close to self harming and I couldn't stop crying, sometimes even at work. There was one night I got up to pee and couldn't get back to sleep because I couldn't stop thinking about it all, I just laid there for over four hours thinking.
I didn't have any Ativan left. I needed it, and I didn't have it, so I was a grown up and went to the walk in to solve my problem. Except I was told I could only get Benzo's from my assigned doctor. Except she doesn't do evening appts like the walk in she's located in do, and I can't take a day off work like that. I tried to get a new doctor, but the administration to assign docs was only open during my work hours. So I left a semi hysterical message on the answering machine, giving permission to talk to my parents, and the next day she called and talked to dad. The long and short of their multiple convos was I could go pick up some from the registered nurse on Saturday. Except when I got there on Sat, the RN told me she didn't have her perscription pad on her, and couldn't write me one.
I ended up having a appt with my actual assigned doc, and she gave me ten. I've only used one so far. I just hope it's worth all the emotional trauma. I hope I work longer than two weeks before getting fired. I hope toddler room goes okay, even though I'll be constantly monitored and the kids aren't half as smart and they're all in diapers. At least I won't have J1 and J2 as two badly behaved kids at the same time. The shift change does fuck me, but getting such a good bus ride for my first year of work was a fluke. My first day is monday. I hope it goes okay.
I didn't have any Ativan left. I needed it, and I didn't have it, so I was a grown up and went to the walk in to solve my problem. Except I was told I could only get Benzo's from my assigned doctor. Except she doesn't do evening appts like the walk in she's located in do, and I can't take a day off work like that. I tried to get a new doctor, but the administration to assign docs was only open during my work hours. So I left a semi hysterical message on the answering machine, giving permission to talk to my parents, and the next day she called and talked to dad. The long and short of their multiple convos was I could go pick up some from the registered nurse on Saturday. Except when I got there on Sat, the RN told me she didn't have her perscription pad on her, and couldn't write me one.
I ended up having a appt with my actual assigned doc, and she gave me ten. I've only used one so far. I just hope it's worth all the emotional trauma. I hope I work longer than two weeks before getting fired. I hope toddler room goes okay, even though I'll be constantly monitored and the kids aren't half as smart and they're all in diapers. At least I won't have J1 and J2 as two badly behaved kids at the same time. The shift change does fuck me, but getting such a good bus ride for my first year of work was a fluke. My first day is monday. I hope it goes okay.